Let’s take a deeper look at one of the biggest problems facing COAs.
We’re not talking about the occasional conflict, this is the day-to-day erosion of respect that makes community life feel cold, combative, and unsustainable. Incivility isn’t just annoying, it’s contagious. When it spreads, everyone loses! Board volunteers would rather be elsewhere, maybe even decide not to continue and resign.
As with most communities we have a small group of disgruntled members who continue to complain, send inflammatory messages and contact our Property Manager with requests for materials that are already freely available on our website. All the while complaining about insufficient transparency.
Is their goal to create more work and use up our Property Managers allocated hours each week with nonsense requests? Most all these requests come with an explanation that it is for the good of the community. But is it really? Is it just people with too much time on their hands? Could it be that they hope that the extra stress they put on the volunteer board members will get them to quit so they can get themselves on the board?
Or is there even more to the problem, like narcissistic personalities and sociopathic behavior. Some who lack empathy or feel threatened when not appreciated, tend to want to shout above everyone else. They honestly feel that only they can be in charge and run things properly. Everyone else could be perceived as a threat.
Almost every Community has these characters as part of the membership. It seems to be above the paygrade of a volunteer board member to have to learn how to deal with this element of unstable individual. However, the JLV Board has been researching and actively taking Florida State approved classes with Condo lawyers and psychiatrists on how to deal with these things as they present themselves in meetings and even just on the street in the neighborhood.
So, there’s hope:
Kindness
We will continue to answer questions in polite conversations at meetings and in gatherings. We will ask people not to talk over other people who are speaking and wait their turn. We will ask them not to dwell in side conversations when someone is speaking. We will adhere to Roberts Rules of Order to try to keep the meetings as organized as possible.
We know how Board tone, communication style, and even simple word choices can change the culture of an entire community. Whether you’re navigating a special project or just dealing with sidewalk hostility; kindness can offer a practical path forward.
Leadership starts with each of us—and kindness isn’t just the right thing to do. It’s the smartest way to lead.
Common Courtesy: Promoting Civility in Community Associations
Allow Your Board Members Their Right to Privacy at Their Homes